Here I go again with another
letter to you. I fear it will be my last as I come to terms with your passing.
It is difficult to sum the thoughts and feelings of the last 10 1/2 months
without you, let alone the 8745 days we shared together.
You were the most handsome
little foal I had ever seen...all legs with the most precious face. I couldn't
wait to touch you. Everything about you was perfect and you lived a life
of comfort on the farm. You didn't have to work a day in your life, which
was fine by me and you certainly enjoyed being a "well-kept man".
You never had a cross word
for anyone. You let the calves nibble at your tail. The lambs would often
walk in and around you and you would only look and continue to nibble on
hay. As big as you were,you could gracefully sidestep a runaway lamb or calf
and carry on as if nothing had happened.
I loved watching you run.
As you got closer it sounded like thounder as your hoofs pounded the earth.
As time and arthritis took its toll, those moments became fewer and fewer,
but I caught glimpses of you trying and it always made me so happy. Your
morning roll was another of my guilty pleasures.
PharLap, you were perfect
from the first moment til the last. That is how you will live on in my heart.
I knew my time was drawing to a close and my heart began to break before
I actually lost you. I know I missed the signs and should have let you go
sooner and that is something I am trying to forgive myself for. I would never
let you suffer knowingly. I know you know that and I know you forgive me.
I just wish I could have seen it.
PharLap, there are so many
things I would like to say to you, so many things I want to share, so many
things I want to be for you, but for today I just want you to know that I
promise to love you forever, for always, for everything you were for me.
Thank you for everything, PharLap. I could have not asked for anything more.
You were perfect.You are forever in my heart.
Somewhere in time I
Darling you'll come back to me.
Roses will bloom again,
But spring feels like eternity.
In your kiss it wasn't goodbye,
You are still the reason why...
The Last Words you Said