November 10, 2011

This was the day that I lost the one thing that I had nightmares of ever loosing, the one thing that could no matter what keep a smile on my face, someone I could trust when everything else was burning down around me, someone I would always give my love to no matter what or how much pain they would bring me. This day I lost the one thing I loved more then a million words could describe.

His name was Nitro. He was a black thoroughbred gelding, just over 15hh but you would never underestimate him for his height, when he had the biggest heart a horse could possibly ever have. As he had been a really hard horse to ride all his life, I got him when he was around 19, might sound old - but boy he was still young, if you knew him you would definitely understand. He had been a champion and loyal horse to all his past owners, and he always tried his best for me - sometimes tried to please me a little too much.

He taught me more then life itself could ever teach me. He was the reason I would jump out of bed in the morning and go straight outside. He was my everything, and I mean everything. No one could truly understand how something like Nitro could mean more then the world to me. He wasn't just 'a horse' he was 'the horse', my best horse in fact, but most of all, my best friend; someone who will always try their best for you, knowing that you would always do the same for them. You brought me to victory and made me conquer fears I thought I could never, ever defeat. You made me the rider I am today, you taught me how to love; you taught me how to trust. Honestly you were the only thing in my life that I could 100% trust.

You were always my hero, and I always tried to be yours, and I'm sorry for letting you down; but you don't know much I tried to keep you on this earth by my side like you should be right now. You're the only one who truly understands our bond, the only one who understands how much you mean to me, the only one who knows how much we truly loved each other. I never wanted to see you hurt - you were far too special to see unhappy, seeing you in pain felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

It's no longer the same when I walk into the paddock, and you don't greet me with your little whinnie you would make when you saw me. It's not the same not seeing you beautiful face. You would leave your feed to come cuddle with me, you weren't just a normal horse, you were one in a million. Going to competitions isn't the same, when every other horse used to go crap, you would come through and please me. I wasn't ever going to sell you, I didnt want anyone else to call you theirs cause I forever wanted you to be called mine...and you passed as mine so forever you will be.

No distance can break our bond, not even death can part our love we had for each other. But oh boy I wish you were here, I miss you more and more every single day that passes. You don't know what I would give up to have you here with me again today. You were so alive and happy that you really didn't deserve to leave yet.

I am the luckiest girl in the world to have had such an amazing horse like you be the biggest part of my life, people would dream to have had a horse like you. I'm blessed actually to had been able to call you mine, and I will always remember that.  I will never, I mean never, forget our memories we shared together, they will be the best things to look back on my life. You were the best thing that had ever been mine. But unfortunately colic took you away from me.

I hope you rest peacefully and do what you love in the sky forever. I still shed tears for you, my Nikey. I love you more then anything I have ever loved before.  You own my heart, and when you left it ripped in two and forever that other piece will be with you.

I could write on forever about how much I loved you and you meant to me but no words are long enough to describe feelings like that. Not the Greatest or Best horse in the world could replace you, because in my world you were the best. No one will ever forget that little black horse, with that oh so big heart of his. You were known as a great champion and you will forever be remembered as one. You were in my eyes for a moment, but will be in my heart forever. Rest well, my little man.

Rest in peace my Nitro. Dont ever forget me as I will never forget you - xx

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