My golden Tennessee Walker,
unicorn, trail horse, race horse, sweet escape from the world, and most
importantly, my friend. We sadly had to let her go only yesterday, December
10, 2008. The worst day of my life.
She sustained a terrible injury in her right leg only a couple of months
ago. My mom was going to take her out to Dausett trails that day when Avy
decided to take off down the driveway back to her pasture and she got caught
in this crazy contraption. They had to have the fire department come and
get her out. Luckily, she did not break her leg, she just had nerve damage
and we played the time game hoping she would regain control of her right
leg. Well, less than 2 months ago, she started laying down.
The only problem was that she would not get up. Eventually we got her up.
A couple of weeks after that she layed down again. My mom called the vet
for a second opinion. I was out there when the vet came and I guess I
misunderstood her because the way she said everything made it seem like she
would live much longer, retired, taking pain medication every day, but I
guess not. She was doing good walking around eating, still life behind those
gorgeous amber colored eyes. She did not look like she was in much pain.
She looked peaceful and happy. That changed December 9.
I was out there and I went to hang out with her for a little while and I
could tell that she was in pain and it hurt me to see her like that, but
I did not think that was going to be the last night I was ever going to see
her, to hug her, kiss her, pet her fuzzy winter coat, to run my fingers through
her mane. I was oblivious. And now, just yesterday, she went down again.
No sign of ever wanting to get up. They did not call me, they called my mom
and they did not want her to call me. They did not want me there to witness
the heartbreaking event of taking a horse's life, and not just any horse,
my Avy Love, and burying her. I guess it is better that I was not there,
it would have been way too hard. I would have nightmares for months, but
I already do and I can't sleep at night. It hurts so bad.
She was such a good horse. She was so faithful, dependable, amazing, pretty,
proud. She truly was one of a kind. I don't think I will ever stumble
across another horse like her, ever and I sure as hell will be lucky if I
do. She was only in her late teens, early twenties. My dad bought her for
my mom on their anniversary and she was the first horse we ever leased. She
was a huge confidence booster and she was the first horse I ever rode bareback
with a halter and lead rope on and it felt amazing and I will never forget
I will never forget her, or the way her mane smelled like apples, or the
soft velvet on her nose, or laying across her back and stargazing on
all those summer nights, or the feeling I got when she breathed
that sweet warm breath on the back of my neck and how it made the hairs of
my neck stand on end. I can not forget it, I am too afraid to because those
memories and pictures and a peice of her tail is all I have left of her.
She lives now only in my dreams, my heart, and in heaven. I can not wait
for the day I see her again. Please God, tell me: Why must all good things
have to end?