Horse of Love
Written & Contributed By
Danielle Alms


Your memory is a time warp

I'm lost right now without you.

I can't give up and cannot rest

Until the whole world can hear about you.

Is it bad that I yearn for the princesses in the movies

That I devour fantasy novels as if they were
written into my brain

That I wish for a day when nothing else mattered

But me and my horse

My horse that I fly with

My horse that shares a bond with no one else but me

My horse that understands me more than anyone else

My horse

My horse that doesn't exist

Only in my dreams

I yearn for the princesses and fantasy novel
characters because of what I can't do

Muck the stalls

Brush their mane

Clean their hooves

Braid their tail

Wash them clean of all the adventures of the day

Refill their water, quenching their thirst

Then finally give the hay for them to eat

Lock the gate behind me knowing he will be there
when I come back

Knowing my dreams will flow fluidly with
the aching of our hearts

Because I love horses

Because no matter how much I wish
that dream will never come true

Unless I make it

I want to be able to spend all my time

Just with him

I want to be able to see him through my window
sleeping soundly through the night

I want to be able to love him unconditionally

I want to bask in his presence

I want to love him

And have him

But to want and to have

Are two entirely different things

They are the difference between the burning lava
flowing from the Costa Rican mountains

And the ice cold water flowing through
the glaciers of the Arctic icebergs

I can either stand the heat or bare the cold

And right now I'm bearing the cold

Shivering every time the word or the image horse
comes into my mind

Wanting the heat more than anything

Standing as still as a statue whenever I see them

My heart cannot help but skip a beat

I run but I will never reach

Anytime I am around them my word turns
into nothing but pure joy

My life is complete

But then I have to leave

And the joy ends

Because it is not mine to keep

That is why I want a

Horse

To have

To keep

To hold

To take care

To fall off of

To laugh with

To teach

To love

But as long as I'm standing still the world keeps moving

One day I will break free

I will continue to run

Until I cross the finish line

To meet my happiness

That makes my life complete

I am overwhelmed with so much pain.

I can't describe the way I feel.

And even though I am told different

These wounds will never heal.