Willow. There are so many
things rattling around inside my head right now and I do not know where to
start. On Wednesday, May 21, I received the phone call from my mom
- "We lost Willow last night.". In a second, my world shattered. Willow's
passing was unexpected - she was only 18. Willow lived with us and her pasture
mates, Blister and Playgirl (who died just over a year ago) for ten
years. Willow's death was likely a heart attack or stroke.
There was not a mark on her body to indicate any cause of death. Two days
prior to her death, we had gone for a lovely ride. I had no warning it would
be our last.
Willow had a unique
personality. I will not dishonor her memory by saying that she was the perfect
horse. Willow was far from perfect, but in spite of her flaws, and because
of them, she was the ideal horse for me. Her stubbornness matched my own
and she was always a challenge. She was strong-willed and had her own ideas
of how a horse should be ridden. Many times it involved me landing on the
ground, in a pile of dust wondering what on earth just happened. She would
sometimes kick, sometimes bit, and frequently enjoyed finding unique ways
to get me off her back. When I think about these memories, I smile, because
that was just Willow.
To look at Willow you would
swear that there was never a more beautiful horse. She was tall, 15.3 hands,
and extremely stocky. She had the typical thick, powerful, Quarter Horse
look. Her colouring was buckskin - a beautiful golden coat, with a black
mane and tail. She had white markings on her face and two white hind feet.
Her eyes were large and soft. Even when she was full of mischief, she always
looked like a kind horse.
Since the first time I
ever sat on a horse, I longed for a horse of my own. When I was 17, my dreams
came true. My parents had been searching high and low for the perfect
horse for me. When we finally found Willow, every childhood dream, hope and
prayer came true. I had a horse of my very own! I remember the ride back
to the farm with Willow in the trailer, thinking I must be the luckiest girl
in the world. I had my very own horse! How many girls are that
lucky?
I had a pre-set idea in
my head that Willow would be perfect. I believed she would be quiet,
co-operative, and well trained. Wrong. My first summer with Willow was tough.
She was afraid of everything, spooked easily, and had only basic training.
I spent my summer mostly at a walk, teaching her that jackets, and other
miscellaneous objects, were not horse-eating dragons. She refused to take
her right lead, refused to trot at a comfortable pace, and took every opportunity
to ram me into fence posts. It was a really hard summer. I enrolled in 4H,
took riding camps, and worked with Willow as many hours of the day as I could.
Many times, by the end of our rides, we would both be frustrated. We
would stare at each other, glaring. Until Willow, I didn't even know it was
possible for a horse to glare. By the end of the summer, we entered a few
horse shows at the local 4H show. We won no awards that year, but it did
not matter. I was so proud of my girl. I was proud of the progress that we
had made together. By our second summer in 4H, the tables had turned and
we ended the 4H competition with a 2nd place in Barrels, and a 4th place
in horsemanship.
My favorite memories of
Willow will always be our trail rides together. She was always curious and
full of mischief. Sometimes I would let her decide where she wanted to go.
Usually we would end up off the trail, with me all caught up and tangled
in tree branches. Sometimes we just walked on the trails, other times we
galloped. We chased deer, ducks, and everything that got in our way. If we
found puddles, I would let Willow wade in to about her knees. I think this
was her favorite activity. She would paw, stomp, and splash water as hard
as she could. We would both end up soaked, Willow would look ever so pleased
with herself, and I would laugh. It was great fun! Usually on our trail rides,
my sister and her horse, Blister, would come with us. Our times together
will always be my favorite childhood and adolescent memories. Whenever I
had a problem, I would go riding, and everything would be ok. Willow would
always help me put things back into perspective.
After we came back from
a ride, I loved just hanging out in the pasture with my girl. Sometimes I
would just lay on Willow's back while she grazed. Sometimes I would just
wrap my arms around her neck and hug her for as long as she would let me.
I can't count how many times her mane soaked up my tears. She was my best
friend and my solace through those tough teenage years. As long as I live,
I will always have the memories of my Willow, and she will always hold a
special place in my heart as my first-ever horse.
Willow, I love you, and
I will always love you. Thank you for all the beautiful memories. You taught
me patience, diligence and the meaning of hard work. You taught me how to
ride, rather than just sit. You were the best possible horse for me. I will
never forget our memories. I will never forget the feeling of your
soft nose, or how it felt when you licked oats from my hands.
I will never forget the feeling of hugging you and pressing my face
into your soft neck. Right now, I would give anything to kiss your
soft nose again and give you one more hug. I want to rub your cheeks and
ears and tell you once more how much I love you. I know with time the pain
of losing you will subside and I will be able to just enjoy the times we
spent together. You, my girl, have part of my soul. I know that somehow your
spirit lives on, and I am sure some day, somehow, you and I will be reunited.
I will love you always, my Willow.
Andy
Salty Willow Bars 
