Five years ago, I was given
my first horse, Johnnie, when I was 15 years old. I only had him 3 months
when he had to be put down. We were just schooling in the arena, and I asked
him for a canter. The next minute all I can remember is me flying through
the air and my horse lying on his side, unable to get up. It turns out, he
had tripped up, and in the process, severely damaging his hind quarters and
his spine. He would then spend the next 2 weeks in hospital, but the truth
was, he could never walk properly again. So my parents made the decision
to put him down.
After losing him, I swore
I'd NEVER allow myself to become that attached to another horse. The people
at the stables where I kept him, were always offering me a ride on their
horses, but for the next 7 months from his death, I gave up riding and horses
all together.
It was 7 months from his
death, when I was at home, going to school and getting on with my non-horsey
life, when I received a phone call from the lady who owned the stables. I'll
never forget the words she said to me, "There is a black mare out here
and I think you should come and look at her.". I thought to myself, "I don't
want to have anything to do with horses anymore, but I'll go out and have
a look.". It was the most bizarre feeling, to watch this black mare run around
Johnnie's paddock, and to be kept in Johnnie's stable. I went down to the
paddock to have a proper look at her. She was the most stunning horse I had
ever seen. Jet black, with a small white star, and what a trot!!
I found out more about her.
Turns out that she was 11 years old, and had been left in a huge paddock
and untouched by humans since her last race, which was when she was 5 years
old. She was abused as a foal and wouldn't let anyone near her. Her owners
had just moved to the city and basically didn't really want her, but didn't
want to sell her either. I rang the owners up and asked if I could just start
"playing" with her and see what she was like. They said they didn't care
what I did with her. This was the beginning of the BEST years of my life
so far! So I started working with her. It took me 2 hours to catch her, and
when I did, she freaked.
Over the next 2 months, that's
all we worked on. Just me going out to her paddock and waiting for her to
come up to me. We then progressed to bringing her up to the stables, and
grooming. That then led to saddling her up, which eventually led me to riding
her, about 6 months after I first saw her, I got on her. In the next few
months, we progressed to walking, trotting and cantering. Instead of her
running away scared when I tried to catch her, she would nicker and trot
up to me!
We started showing a bit,
and whilst she was still extremely nervous out and about, she was slowly
settling down. Storm wouldn't allow anyone else to catch her, and when someone
but myself tried to ride her, she would do the most impressive rears! We
used to call her "Chuckles" sarcastically, as her personality was anything
but happy! No one else, not even my instructor, was brave enough to ride
her. But when I rode, she was settled for me.
Eventually, her owners gave
her to me. About 2 years after we first met, Storm came down with colic.
She was rushed to the local vet and stayed there for a week. She pulled
through fine and life went on. Though saying that, it was such a terrifying
moment for me, to realise just how much I loved her. We kept showing and
she quieted down so much that a completely non-horsey friend could get on
her and walk her around with me leading her and talking to her. People couldn't
believe the change in her in two years! We even did the State's Royal show
(biggest show of the year). Life went on, and it was good.
It was 3 years from the day
I met her, when my mum picked me up from my part-time job (which I only had
to pay for Storm's every want and need!!), and told me, "There is a problem
with Storm.". Storm had come down with colic. When I got out to the stables,
the vet had already given her a sedative and drenched her. We were told to
watch her for the next 4 hours. The vet left, and we just sat and watched
her. About 30 minutes after the vet left, she went down. Five fully grown
adults literally heaved her into the float, and we rushed her down to the
emergency vet. When the vet looked at her, I was told not to expect her to
last the night. It was the most heartbreaking moment, to watch this animal,
my best friend, this horse who had given humans a second chance, to be in
so much pain she couldn't stand up. The vet asked me what I wanted to do
and I made the decision that she was to be kept alive, no matter what the
cost. I wasn't ready to lose her.
Storm made it through the
night, but the following morning she was worse. She was having painkillers
that last 6 hours on most horses, but were only lasting one hour on her,
as her pain was so great. Surgery wasn't an option, as she wouldn't survive
the anesthetic. I spent the next 3 days with her, just her lying with her
head in my lap. I spent a lot of that time just staring into her eyes, they
had changed since I first met her. They were full of trust and love. I can't
count the times the vet told me to put her down and how cruel I was being
to her, but I refused, as I knew there was no way I could lose her, even
though she was lying down and literally moaning in pain. The vet also told
me to expect her to die at any moment and he himself couldn't believe she
was still alive. But he didn't know her like I did...
On the third night, when
I left for home, I said goodbye to her, told her to sleep well and that I'd
see her in the morning. I gave her a kiss and then left. At 6.27 a.m. the next
morning, the phone rang. I was already awake, lying in bed unable to sleep,
and I knew, as soon as the phone rang, Storm had died. My mum took the phone
call, but made me hear the vet say she had died, as I refused to believe
her. My mum took me out to see Storm. I will never, ever forget the feeling
when I saw her body. It was the most awful thing in the world. Here was my
best friend, just lying still, not breathing. I sat with her for hours, just
holding her heavy head.
I look back, and realise
that I did make the wrong decision. Storm should have been put down on the
first night. No horse should have to go through what she endured. I can't
even begin to imagine the amount of pain she was in. But I refused to let
her go. I think it was more to do with me not wanting to go through losing
another horse, especially not Storm. What we had was special. Some horses
just take to some people. Everyone who ever met Storm refused to go near
her, as she would be completely feral, dangerous and wild when they did,
but for me, she was like a puppy dog. Even judges at shows couldn't place
a ribbon on her! I would have to go up to the judge later after the class
and get the ribbon myself.
Grieving for a horse, especially
one that you have such a bond with, is something I wouldn't wish upon my
worst enemy. I think, in most cases, it is worse to lose a horse, than it
is to lose a person, as most people do not know what you go through when
you lose a horse.
I have become not only a
better horse person, but a better person in general, thanks to Storm. Her
bravery and trust is something I will never forget. I will never have a bond
with another horse like I did with her.
Thank you and I love you
Storm. Rest easy, Chuckles!