On October 19, 2000, all
my dreams had finally came true. I was getting a horse! Not only did I get
one horse, but I got two, best friends, Shadoe and Sandie. They were the
first horses I had looked at - not perfect, but perfect for me. I got that
horse that I had always wanted, the pretty white one with the long flowing
tail and proudly arched neck. Stunningly beautiful!
The moment
I opened my heart to them, they opened theirs to mine. Everyone at the barn
was amazed at how they acted with me, because prior to getting my horses,
they had been neglected and would not let anyone, and I mean anyone, touch
them. They did not try to buck me off or bite me or hurt me in any way. They
just loved me.
Shadoe was 19 at the time
that I bought her. She was everything that you could ask for in a horse.
She was wise beyond belief and the connection that she made with anybody
that came in contact with her was truely unique and utterly amazing. Not
only was she my companion, but she was my best friend. She would be the one
I would hold when I would cry. She understood more than any human could ever
be able to. She touched my heart in such a special way, I could not thank
her enough for what she helped me through. It was never a task for her to
be there for me, she would do it simply out of love. I would spend hour upon
hour out at the barn doing anything possible just so I could spend time with
my new-found best friends.
After boarding for a few
years, my family decided to get some horse property right down the street
from where the horses have always been boarded. I was thrilled and thought
that Shadoe and Sandie would be too...I guessed wrong. I let them out in
their own new pasture and I went back inside thinking they would be
okay in a fenced-in pasture...boy was I wrong! Shadoe decided to jump over
the gate and run down the street back to their old stalls and, of course,
Sandie followed. Her personality would always bring a smile to my face. Even
when I got mad at her, she would just stare at me with those deep dark
eyes and she seemed to be saying "I'm sorry, mom". And I would imediately
hug her cuz its hard to stay mad at someone you love so much.
December 17, 2006 was the
worst day of my life. I had to make the decision whether or not to keep
my best friend. She had been getting sick. I figured it was just a cold and
she would get over it, but it progressed and got worse. I took her to the
vets to get some tests done and they decided to keep her there. They took
fluid out of her lung and sent it out. I had hope she was going to get better,
then I got a call. I rushed to the hospital in shock, it hadn't hit me yet
that I was just going to make the hardest decision of my life. When I got
there, she was standing there, barely, but she was all sweaty and just didn't
look good. They had drugged her highly because she started to colic. She
was living off the drugs. They said they could keep her living till after
the holidays, but after seeing her so hurt and in so much pain, I just wanted
her to be happy and for her not to suffer any more. So I signed the papers
and walked her into the stall so she could lay down. She layed down, but
then she put up a fight. After they gave her the sedation, she got up and
then dropped. She was laying there and I was holding her head telling her
over and over again how much I loved her and how great of a horse she was
and how sorry I was for having her have to hurt so bad. They couldn't euthanize
her right away because her blood pressure went way down. They couldnt find
any vein to put it in. So I just layed there with her and told her, "It's
ok, Shadoe, just go...go run free...I love you and I always will." Then I
kissed her cute little nose and she took her last breath and closed her
eyes.
To my baby girl, Shadoe,
I am sorry that I haven't been there much lately, but just please always
remember that I love you so much. You are my world, my everything, and there
will always be a place in my heart for you that no other horse will ever
replace. Sandie and Flash miss you and they loved you too. The goats want
their mommy back, but Sandie is doing just what you said, she is looking
over them for you. And mommy and daddy miss you too. Same with The Petersons,
Layna, and everyone else that you have made an impact on. You helped many
little girls, including myself, get over being scared of horses and to learn
what it's like to love. Not fake love but true and pure love like you have
shown me and the world. I love you always and forever.
Jordan