February 14, 1995 - January 27, 2014 |
Many people will tell stories of that “once-in-a-lifetime horse” that they had when they were young. Even though all horses leave some kind of mark on the people who were lucky enough to have them in their life, there is always that one horse that you can tell is really an angel sent down from heaven. When years have gone by and I am telling stories to my children and grandchildren of my youth, I will be able to say without a doubt that Rudy was my once-in-a -lifetime horse.
Rudy came into my life just when I needed him. I was twelve years old, and several things were happening to me at once, and at the time I didn’t really understand all of it. My parents were getting a divorce, my dog that I had had since I was four passed away that year, and I was questioning where I stood within my group of friends. I was always the horse girl, which meant that whenever my friends would spend their Friday nights at the malls or movies, I was at the barn cleaning a stall or talking to my four legged friends. While nothing was really ever said, it was a silent understanding that I was different, and this inevitably set me apart from the rest of my group.
Whenever I looked into Rudy’s dark brown eyes I saw in them more understanding with what I was going through then anybody else. Rudy never asked me questions on why was I like how I was, and never blamed or resented me if I couldn’t always be there. He would let me wrap my arms around him and breathe in his scent. He would let my tears fall into his often tangled mane, and would stand quietly as I brushed him for hours. In the winter his pinto coat would shed until it looked as if a snow storm had entered his stall.
I often said that Rudy was part dog, because he could spend forever just licking my hands and arms, even when there was no treat around. Yet he showed absolutely no interest in a salt block or jolly ball. He had the cuddliest personality, and taught me what it really felt like to receive unconditional love. That horse was my support through everything: my parents’ divorce, the death of my dog, my transition from middle school to high school, and high school to college. He gave me the confidence I was lacking and so desperately needed to be comfortable with who I was. I went from an awkward, shy, twelve year old who didn’t know who her friends were, to a confident twenty year old who knows exactly where she is going in life.
Time flew when I was with that horse. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years, and before I knew it, nine years had flown by. I had hoped that my kids would grow up to sit on his back and learn through him as I had. Unfortunately that was not meant to be. About two years ago we discovered Rudy had DSLD which is a genetic suspensory ligament disease. Basically all his tendons and ligaments were giving out and dropping. For the next 18 months we gave Rudy the best retirement possible, with no work and pastures full of grass and a home full of love. Unfortunately time wore on him, and he had more and more bad days then he had well. As much as it broke my heart to let him go, I knew I couldn’t put him through any more discomfort, not after all he had done for me. We laid Rudy to rest on our farm on January 27, 2014.
At the time I thought how unfair it was how the best thing that happened to me had to be taken away before I was ready. Now that I think about it however, the answer was staring me right in the face the whole time. Rudy was an angel who was sent down from heaven to fulfil the wishes of a little girl. Rudy was never meant to be with me forever, he was meant to help a lonely 12 year old girl find her place in the world. With his mission complete, it was time for God to get his angel back. I had Rudy a lot longer than I thought I originally would, not nearly as long as I wanted to, but I had him, and that time with him is something I will always cherish. Thank you Rudy, for everything.
Sydney Croley
Rudy 
