May 24, 1982 - October 27, 2006

Oh my sweet Jen-Jen. I cried so hard when you left us! I am only grateful that your passing did not appear to be a struggle at all.

I miss you and your throaty neighs and nickers each time I come outside, and when I go to get the grain ready in the evening. Todd misses you too. You were his favorite. There was a time when I think you and I were about best buddies. I would just sit out in the pasture with you and you stayed near as long as one of the others didn't run you off.

You were so shy, but loved attention and treats, especially a lump of  brown sugar. I miss slinging you under my arm and leading you around, your sweet and unassuming nature, your soft, inquisitive eyes. I miss your fluffy mane that my friend said was like Tina Turner's hair. You liked to have me lift it off your neck on a hot day. I even miss chasing you out of the barn when you followed me through the people door. I'll never forget the time Joe fell off you twice in one day! I always thought you would be a good pony if I ever had a kid, despite that.

Yes, you were the one Grandpa bought back for me. He paid more than he sold you to that man for. There must be a stronger connection between you that I didn't know, but I am still struggling with the timing of your loss, trying to understand why you had to go be with Grandpa so soon after he went Home. Twenty-four is not young, but not so terribly old. I had hoped you would stay with us for more years. I wasn't ready to let you go, not the first time, and not now. But this time, no amount of pining and tears will bring you back to me, yet I cry just the same.

Tell Molly, your mama, and sister that I have never forgotten them, just as I will never forget you and all the joy you brought to my life for 24 years. One day I will come to you and we will roam greener pastures that never fade.

The trees were in their glory when blew the autumn wind,
Cold and pitiless it came and sorrow upon me pinned.
It whisked the tender leaves so far away from me.
My heart is gray and barren as the branches of a tree.

I didn't know it'd be so soon, my sweet and gentle Jen,
Now no lament, no storm of tears will bring you back again.
You followed Grandpa o'er the bridge, though I begged you not to go.
Both gone, my grief is double and I miss you so.

God's plan is so unknowable, and so unclear to me.
Amid pain and confusion, it's very hard to see,
I guess I just can't understand, why did you have to go?
I still cry, and wonder why, and I still miss you so.

My friend, be ever near me, never from me to depart.
For I will ever keep the love you gave me from your heart.
May your presence linger in such ways that I will know
And someday I'll be with you when it comes my time to go.
Then every tear He'll wipe away and I won't miss you so.

Be free, sweet girl.

Jenny's Support Group Honoree page.

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