We moved out to a rural area and my neighbors all had horses. My wife and I decided to build a small barn and let a couple horses into our lives as we learned to ride. All I really wanted was a trail horse, nothing special. I saw an advertisement for a retired race horse who behaved well on trail. I picked him up and he jumped right into my heart. A 16.2 Appendix gelding, my very big boy! My first horse!
He taught me about horses and much about myself. My riding instructor jokingly said I should have gotten a Volkswagen but I ended up with a Ferrari. “Slam n Duncan” was his AQHA name but I just called him “Doc”. Seems like from time to time a whole day would be spent with Doc. A riding lesson, a bath and grooming, cleaning his stall, and turning him out for his afternoon nap. Haha, what great days those were!
One day during a riding lesson at the river, in the soft sand, we decided to lope forward away from my riding partners. Suddenly my instructor, who had many years on race horses, was fading in our dust yelling to me he couldn’t keep up. For some reason, Doc was free and went right through the lope and was showing me a brief glimpse of what he was bred to do. The air was whistling past my ears as the speed and pure power of this magnificent being engulfed me. It was smooth and almost hypnotic. After only a short time, I came out of the trance realizing what was happening and I urged him to slow with a few gentle tugs and an “easy Doc” request. He slowed and brought it down to a walk as he snorted and huffed looking back at me, as I thanked him with pats on the neck. We never again got to do that.
I always kept him at a walk or a trot. His body was retired but his mind definitely was not. He always wanted to go…go…go, and always had to be in the front of our group.
A few months later Doc was suddenly lame. The x-rays revealed the time bomb all the years of racing at the track had built. Severe bone spurs and horribly degenerated coffin bones on both front feet. There was nothing any amount of money could do to fix this. I was devastated!
But wait. That is not fair! I have only been with him a year and a half! He is only seventeen! I sadly pulled his shoes and gave him some mild drugs to ease his pain. My instructor and my friends told me what must be done. A piece of me was dying inside.
Over the next couple weeks I know Doc could feel my pain too. Doc himself told me what I must do. One night as we stood alone in the corral, I was facing away on the fence with tears in my eyes asking why, why, why this had to happen. Doc came over and lowered his head onto my shoulder and barely nickered. I know he told me it will be ok. It is ok to set me free so I can once again run like the wind. I gave him a hug and I whispered in his ear I would not leave him alone during this journey. I will stay at your side.
Several days later in a peaceful setting, I loved him so much I had to let him go. We put him to sleep to stop his suffering with every painful step. I miss him so much but know he is now running fast and free.
I thank God for the blessing of “Doc”. When I get to heaven, I can’t wait to see him and once again feel his breath upon my neck. Late at night, as I gaze up at the sky towards the back of my corral, I swear I can hear Doc’s hoof beats as he runs. Those hoof beats tell me that my heart must grow even bigger as I am hooked on horses and now must bring other horses into my life. Thanks Doc!
Doug
Doc 
