My Dearest Dandy,
Our 17 years together was
not enough. The first time I saw you, it was love at first sight. I always
tell everyone my first love was not a boy, it was a paint horse. You were
my 14th birthday present, the horse of my own I had always wished
for.
We had the best time chasing cows and riding through the trails. You were
full of energy and quite a test to my new riding skills at times, but you
always protected me from getting hurt. I have so many good memories of just
you and I on the trails by the barn, sometimes running so fast, all four
feet were off the ground and other times bareback and easy-going. You taught
me a lot about myself and what I was actually capable of. I was a sad teenager
with no direction until you taught me how to be loyal, trustworthy, compassionate
and responsible, because you were all these things. I made sure no matter
where I moved, you came with me, I could not be apart from you.
As we both aged and our
riding grew less frequent, my love for you never faded. When the vet told
me you had Cushings, I couldn't stop crying, my faithful companion had limited
time. I bought all the medicine they offered, but like I told you, I could
not buy the fountain of youth. If I could, you would have it.
We rescued Rocco because he needed someone to love and care for him and you
where depressed. I know you thought the skinny, matted 6 month-old pony was
your baby and raising him made you very happy again. We bought the house
you are now buried at for you so I could see you every day and make sure
you were getting what you needed. You really loved it there. When I adopted
Bella, you protected Rocco at first, but then she became your daughter. The
last two years of seeing you every day have been so important to me. I always
came to the barn, but it was different waking up to see you waiting for breakfast
in the pasture. You have helped me raise Rocco and Bella and teach then right
from wrong and they really love you.
The day I woke up to find
you in the pasture was the day I had been dreading. I had had the vet out
to talk about putting you down. I know by not wanting to eat any medicine,
you were trying to tell me something and even though I was very sad, I heard
you. I had made the decision not to let you suffer though the winter and
it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I remember crying in your
stall and telling you I had no idea how I was going to do it. How could I
let you go? That morning you body beat me to it. I know now it happened because
you where trying to save me the pain of making the decision, one last selfless
act from my best friend. I sat with a umbrella over you to keep the rain
off of your face and neck. I knew you were not cold, wrapped in your blanket
laying in the clover. I told you everything I wanted you to know even though
you already knew. Even though I sing really badly, it always relaxed you,
so I sang you a song that reminded me of you, now I cry every time I hear
it. I told you could go and I would take care of your babies forever. You
got up one last time to have some hay with Bella and that would be your final
resting place. I told everyone not to cry because it upset you, but just
know, after you left me, I have cried a thousand tears. The vet told me your
heartbeat was slow and your organs were shutting down. I begged him to sedate
you and end your pain.
You left us on that Monday morning surrounded by love; me, Grandma, Dad,
Rocko and Bella all loved you very much. We dug a hole and buried you where
you lay. Everytime I go to feed the babies, I walk right past it and think
of you. I miss seeing your beautiful face, pawing (thanks for teaching the
babies that) and waiting for grain. I took your tail and I plan on making
something for Bella's headstall so when she is being trained, a little piece
of you will be with both of us.
So fly on my sweet angel,
fly on through the sky. Fly on my sweet angel, forever. I will be right by
your side.
Love forever,
Mom, Bella and Rocco
Dandy Spots 
