Thoroughbred x Cob

20 years old

16/06/1989 - 06/07/09


I don'
t really know what to say, there are no words. How can you sum up everything we had, everything we shared, all the memories, with words?

I can't bring myself to think about you, because then I don't have to accept the fact that you're gone and I'll never see you again. I can't look at your photos because it brings a lump to my throat, and it's like a physical pain.

Big girl, I can never put into words how much you meant to me. I couldn't even tell you on the morning, because I didn't trust myself to speak. I was only just holding it together for you. All I could do was tell you I loved you and what a good girl you were.

I hope you understood what I was trying to say - sometimes there were no need for words, were there, big girl?

There were times I wish you could have spoken, and told me what you wanted, so that the decision was out of my hands. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and if there had been other options, God knows I would have tried them.

I turned you out, early one morning, two weeks ago. You were lame again, and as you hobbled around the paddock, I looked at you and cried. You looked up at me, then you walked over and rested your head on my shoulder, your face pressed against my cheek. I could almost hear you saying, "Its alright, the time has come for you to let me go. We cant fight this last battle, you must do what has to be done, I've had enough." I never told anyone else, but that made my mind up.

I hope you understood too why I was doing it. I wanted you to have back some of the dignity you lost. I couldnt watch you suffer anymore. We went through it all together, every step of the way, and at the end we were both hurting.

But I wouldn't have swapped a moment of it for anything - the good times, the bad times - any of it.

You were never just a horse to me - you were my everything and always will be. My best friend, my baby, my soulmate, my teacher, my confidante, the other half of me. I think you felt that too. The last time we went for a ride, you were just how you used to be. You were like, "I remember this! I used to love this!" It was like we'd never been away from each other - you bucked and danced - gave it your eveything, "This is how it should be - me and you! Do you remember this?"

Well, Bree, I'll always remember that ride. I'll remember everything - the tiny snip on your nose, the way you whinnied when you heard me coming with breakfast, the way you looked at me over your shoulder when I called you in the field.

I'll love you forever B, more than words can say. I know your up with Pop now. They must have needed another angel up there, to keep her in line. I also know your'e in better hands now, B, but I wish you were still in mine.

I'll see you again one day, my lovely girl. Goodnight, big girl, you'll always be with me, in my heart. Rest in peace.


When all is said and done, you are part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that you and me were brought together was because we complete one another. We fill in each other's missing spots with love. And if someday God decides to tear us apart, I trust that there is a reason. Cause if there is a reason for love, there is a reason for life beyond it.

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