Well, the Lord has a horse
now,
I just sent Him mine,
the old pal so dear to me,
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone,
knowing he is in eternity.
Author Unknown
Benji was born in Calgary,
Alberta in May, 1974. In April, 1982, at age 9, Benji selected our family
as his own, and moved to our home. Shortly thereafter, all of the fences
at the barn needed to be replaced with higher ones, as Benji would not be
contained, and would jump out of any paddock we put him in.
Clearly, Benji loved to jump.
Despite his 15"3 HH thick frame, he never, ever, stopped at a fence, no matter
how badly a spot I put him in. In 1983, his first year on the show circuit,
he won a Reserve Pre Green Provincial Championship.
But the first year when
Benji trained me was not easy. He had no brakes, and had no interest in
developing any. Often, my father would watch us go `round and `round the
arena until he was finally forced to come and stop Benji. At one point, I
thought I was being smart when I turned Benji into a wall when he took off
on me. At the last second, he ducked out, and I continued on into the wall.
That night, Dad had to wake me every hour on the hour due to the
concussion.
Benji also insisted on being the leader of the barn. He would quickly
demonstrate to much bigger horses that he was the boss. Benji had a unique
combination of strength and intelligence that always put him in the top of
the pecking order in whatever barn he was in.
Benji showed for many years, winning many ribbons in hunter classes. During
one horse show, Benji was let out of his stall during the night. He was found
by the Ferris wheel, watching it go around.
Benji loved to swim, and we hacked one day several miles to a beautiful beach.
Unfortunately, I did not hang on tight enough, and Benji was suddenly on
his own. He decided it was time to go back to the barn for supper, and took
the highway about 6 miles back to the barn. He was standing outside of his
stall door when I arrived several hours later (as I had to walk back).
In 1987, Benji was beginning to show signs that he was no longer enjoying
the show circuit. It was taking some encouragement to get him to enter the
show rings and horse trailers. Benji was making the transition to a jumper
class when his coach was killed in a car accident. This essentially ended
his showing career, and Benji made the transition to a new barn, and a life
of pleasure riding.
In 1989, Benji moved to
the home where he would happily live out the rest of his days. Benji did
not move here happily, however, putting the brakes on all four legs, stopping
in the middle of the highway, blocking traffic for several minutes before
I was forced to turn him back. We had to trailer him to his new
home.
Benji was initially fascinated
by his new roommates, "cows". He was not sure why they didn't whinny back
to him. He tried to get accepted into the cow herd, but they were not open,
and Benji was quite distraught. At this point, he met Nippy, the Shetland
pony who would become his best friend for many, many years.
In 1993, Benji was diagnosed
with Navicular on his front left leg. We recognized that Benji was becoming
an older horse, and decided we should retire him. I rode him very lightly,
during which Benji would suddenly develop a severe limp, and occasionally
even a dramatic cough, when I got on to ride. The minute the work was over,
however, he would happily trot off without any problems to play with his
friends. Intelligence...
When it came time for his
best friend Nippy to go, Benji showed his anger and sadness by running around
the field for hours, working himself into a thick lather of sweat. He refused
to enter the barn for many weeks following the loss.
By this time, Ali had moved
to the barn. After several hoof-shaped marks on Ali's body, and a few teeth
shaped bruises, Ali and Benji became inseparable. Ali watched everything
Benji did, idolizing him and wanting to learn. Benji taught him not to run
anywhere, walking would get you to the same destination without as much
work.
Ali left the barn only a
few short months before Benji's passing. Benji took another young horse,
Thistle, under his "hoof", literally. Thistle quickly learned that this senior
citizen was to be respected.
Throughout his life, Benji
suffered very few side effects from his diagnoses of Heaves and Navicular.
During the winter of 2002, he found it difficult to keep his weight on. The
summers continued to be a joy for Benji, enjoying the never-ending grass,
and warm air. The summer of 2004 was Benji's last, and he enjoyed it
thoroughly.
In December, 2004, Benji
started letting us know that he was growing tired. On January 8, 2005, Benji
was laid to rest in the field, by his favorite tree, overlooking the fields
and water. I hope he is happy now, I hope he is warm, moving freely, pain
free, playing in a field, eating long grass, and showing the other horses
who is the boss.
As you can tell, Benji was
my best friend. The decision to put him down was the most difficult thing
I have ever done in my life, and my grief is still very raw. Benji and I
have grown up together, he has taught me so much. Benji has pulled me through
the most difficult challenges in my life, I am not sure where one goes with
their problems when their beloved horse is no longer there to listen, lean
on, and provide a mane to cry in.
Benji and I spent many,
many hours talking in the field, him listening while he munched happily on
the grass. I know I was lucky to have him as long as I did, but now the loss
is so strong, its hard to see past it.
Benji became just as important
to another member of my family, my father. They began their long chats while
I was away at University, and the pain of loss in my fathers voice reminds
me that I am not the only one suffering. I think Benji left knowing we would
lean on each other for support.
God, please, take care of
this gift I have loaned you. I expect to hear his whinny when I arrive to
be with him.
Benji 
